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On another note, I run a company called 0CN Systems (pronounced Ocean Systems). up until recently we were making oxygen into carbon dioxide (actually, more like converting than making, but I digress). Recently we got our funding though to create our newest project, a functional time machine. (Patents pending)
So far our first prototype is doing well. It does have a few limitations, for example, currently it can only go into the future and not the past, you could say it's not backwards compatible, but I digress. Also it can only go into the future 1 second at a time. Example: if you set the "time machine" for 30 minutes from now, you would have to wait out the duration of of said future travel request. We have a temporary work around in place, and each “time machine” comes with a small TV to help take your mind of the sometimes lengthy process of time travel. For time travel requests greater than 1 day in the future we recommend getting some ambien before hand and an alarm clock (alarm clock not included in “time machine” …The TV isn’t either).
Our current prototype currently looks like an ordinary refrigerator box, but don’t be fooled. Climbing into the box, err, “time machine” will allow you to travel forward in time. Currently the time machine runs QNX, a real time OS, and thus all time travel requests are processed in real time. This turned out to be slightly quicker than our first version of the time machine (0.1b: code named "Sloth") which was powered by Windows Vista and showed you a loading bar as time progressed. This was replaced by QNX due to the machine actually taking longer to get to the future than real time. We repotted the error to Microsoft, who informed us that it would be fixed in Windows 7. Apparently this was a known bug in Vista but not windows XP. We were impatient and went with something else.
Images of my old refrigerator box will be posted at www.0CNsystems.com, wait, I mean “time machine.” (Patents pending).
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this post are not necessarily those of 0Cn Systems, or its subsidiaries. Time Machine is not available, anywhere. Offer void in Wisconsin. Any resemblance to actual products, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Any unauthorized use, of your own judgment in the application of Time Machine., is strictly prohibited. Time Machine may not be reproduced without the expressed written consent of Major League Baseball. Time Machine may cause drowsiness or restlessness in lab animals. Do not resume sexual activity, while operating heavy machinery, without consulting your physician. For erections lasting longer than 4 hours, insert your own joke here. If you experience psychotic episodes, you’re crazy. If death occurs, discontinue use of Time Machine immediately. If symptoms persist consult your physician. All sales are final. Batteries not included.
Edited 2009-08-25 22:09 UTC





