A few weeks ago, we took a look at TotalFinder, a collection of add-ons to the Mac OS X Finder that fixes some of its shortcomings, adds some welcome features, and in all, makes it a little more pleasant to use. We've got three free copies of TotalFinder to hand out, so read on to find out how you can win one!
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2011-01-02
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2005-11-16
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2011-01-02
One day while playing with the Unicorns and discovering the wonders of Total Finder and the great things it does to Finder, it started to rain glitter from the sky. Much to our amazement, the glitter was bought on by the presence of Fiona Apple. In my shock, I awoke from my dream only to find out it wasn't real and was all created on a Mac, running OS X of course!
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2005-07-11
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2011-01-02
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2006-01-10
Just wanted to get back from the bar, but my last bus was long gone. It passed on 23:30 and I was about a half an hour late. I was getting ready for walking home to Brussels but a unicorn passed. I hopped on for the ride 'cause it just went in the right direction.
On my way to Brussels I passed a beautiful girl. I thought, why not invite her for the ride. She wouldn't ride along! She started blabing about how it's not ok to use animals for transport and she would tell it to Fiona Apple. Whatever! I got home, logged in to my mac so I could check the (os)news. I noticed that there was a contest for a free copy of TotalFinder for mac OS X. Wait, why am I writing this? For glitter and fame!
Edited 2011-01-02 23:57 UTC
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2006-01-10
Member since:
2006-11-20
One day, Thom Holwerda invited Fiona Apple for a ride on his unicorn... But first, Fiona insisted on him using McAfee for protection, since her name was indeed Fiona Apple McAfee Maggart. "Outrageous!" he screamed, because his flavour of choice was Glitter.
"Glitter?" she blinked, "I've never heard of Glitter." "... I will show you", Thom said and started Mac OS X for a quick presentation. With a steady finger he moved the cursor over to the Finder icon on his dock with the intention of open a new window. But all of a sudden spinning beach ball of death occurred, and in dissatisfaction Fiona Apple left him for Dave DeWalt who used TotalFinder.
EOF
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2006-01-07
Member since:
2006-01-04
Some time ago I had a very bad stomachache. Luckily Fiona Apple came by and knew right away what I had (bad case of gas that wouldn’t come out) then she performed some sort of Heimlich maneuver on me (think Dr. Garrigan and Idi Amin in Last King of Scotland and you get the picture). I released my pressure in one big fart but strangely enough it smelled like roses and unicorns came out of my butt.
I was relieved and Fiona was happy because she was looking for sounds for her new iOS fart app.
Then something even more strange happened: The unicorns started sprinkling glitter on Fiona and she turned into a beautiful Macbook Air.
I thought “what the heck” and I might just install Linux on the thing when a thought came to my mind that changing the software too much might mess with Fionas brains if the enchantment can be reversed. So I stuck with Mac OS X but because I cannot stand Finder I installed TotalFinder.
And before you ask: Yes, I tried kissing the thing but it won’t change back (and trust me, I try numerous times each day)
Member since:
2007-07-30
I was having issues with my new windows 7 laptop so I called tech support. A woman named Fiona answered and asked what was wrong. I informed her that my new laptop refused run Viva Media's "The Enchanted Unicorn" when the Microsoft windows 7 compatibility specifically states that it will work without any problems. I even emailed her the proof - see below. She was baffled. I informed her that I knew my friend's Apple Mac runs it just fine even in a parallels install. Why can't my laptop run it native? She informed me that my laptop was lacking the new glitter expansion unit. The glitter expansion? What is this? She went on to inform me that I needed to purchase a large quantity of glitter from the local Wal*Mart and pour it into my DVD drive. Ok. I was very hesitant at first but I bit the bullet and purchased the glitter, poured it into my DVD drive, and voila, my Windows 7 laptop transformed into a TotalFinder running Mac. Now I can use Finder and run my treasured "The Enchanted Unicorn" game!
http://www.microsoft.com/windows/compatibility/windows-7/en-us/Deta...
* TotalFinder/Finder
Edited 2011-01-03 00:17 UTC
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2010-12-31
Member since:
2006-03-07
There Fiona Apple was, late for the concert because of the snow falling all up and down the East Coast like a teen dumping glitter on her face before the prom. With mere seconds to get on stage for her adoring fans, she powered up her laptop and logged into Mac OS X. With a mere click in TotalFinder she was able to get ichat open and send a High Priority Emergency Code Red message to her pink unicorn Sparkles, who promptly appeared and whisked her off to the concert, thus saving the day.
Member since:
2009-02-11
Twas the night before Christmas, and the posters where out
The fanboys, the haters and the trolls, beyond doubt
But something had changed, that previous day
For the princess of Glitter, had been taken away
Fiona Apple had been taken, by the evil Vizier
For see wasn't real open, merely free as in beer
So the people of glitter, turned together to pray
For the gods of the legends, to descent if they may
And indeed they descended, with some glorious effects
And the leader amongst them, was the king OS X
He was angry but fair, the spectators would claim
As he looked at his soldiers, that he called by name
"Now Explorer! now Dolphin! now Dired and now Finder!
On Nautilus! on Konqueror! on Norton Commander!"
"We shall have our revenge", mightily he decreed
From atop of his Unicorn, that he used as his steed
Though they tried as they might, the Vizier wouldn't fall
For he was mighty handsome, also skinny and tall
And when everything seemed, to be pointless and lost
Then the hero of Glitter came to fight at his post
"TotalFinder" the townsfolk shouted, with a sigh of relief
"The Vizier's evil reign, surely now will be brief"
And mistaken they weren't, as the hero will prevail
And the people of Glitter will have a glorious Christmas Day
PS. Finder? I hardly know her! (someone had to do it)
Member since:
2006-03-07
That would be cool as well, but why not a few copies of some of those hobbyist operating systems or virtualization tools out there that aren't free, along with anything else that promotes interest and use of alternative operating systems. Anyone can grab a BSD or Linux distro, virtualbox, and so on, but why not ecomstation, vmware workstation, parallels, or other goodies...
The site IS called OSNews afterall...
Member since:
2006-01-26
Member since:
2010-05-19
Because that's what I do, and often:
Apple trees and OS fees
Make breeze burn foreign monies
Pleasen.
Firebombers and horse whistlers press horns forward.
Or else not.
Best weather for finding files of neverminding.
What I bought didn't.
Terraformed terror and forced commander condor corps corpse eagle force.
Has it.
Breastly anger and Rikk Agnew nix Nixon and *nixen for scriptin'.
But isn't.
Colourised Forbes and shirt tighteners give a swollen means to an end.
For is.
Once upon a brine
Fats upon a spine
Twice trestle I'm
It's sometimes Tuesdays
Haven'ts
Member since:
2006-03-23
There is a rumor that Fiona Apple has a fundamental issue with Mac OS X, specifically the Finder. She believes that all files should be easily located based on type of meta data she calls "Glitter", which can be applied to any file that has higher than average esthetics's. Jobs retorted back "Fiona Apple must be crazy and flying around on Unicorns".
I have to agree with Fiona that it would be a great feature, and thought that TotalFinder would have addressed the issue (http://www.osnews.com/story/24153/TotalFinder_Fixes_the_Finder) but unfortunately not. 
Member since:
2006-10-17
Fiona Apple has signed a deal with Apple to write a replacement shell for Mac OS X called Uni-korn. Mariah Carey, the star of the movie Glitter, signed on to do the original development but gave up after initial use of the Finder proved too diffucult as she was unable to find her Xcode project.
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2009-10-04
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2006-12-13
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2011-01-03
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2010-06-30
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2010-08-06
A Brand new company headed by Arab billionaires wanting to diversify into IT technology courted Fiona to be their company spokesperson.
The UNIX Company will be called UNIxCORN or unicorn in short. Unicorn is said will have a revolutionary user interface likended to MAC OSx but already with search facilities almost on par with totalfind.
As part of her reward package she receives a brand new glittering gold plated tablet computer called UniTab that must accompany her on all her PR trips.
Edited 2011-01-03 02:09 UTC
Member since:
2006-02-15
"Ah, damn.", I sighed to myself: "Maybe I shouldn't have taken this job. It's really wearing me thin, and I'm starting to worry about your safety.." I gently brushed my fingers over the still-sore wound on Glitter's side and wondered to myself, silently, how amazing and resilient creatures these unicorns are. I mean, a bullet straight-on, and the damn thing doesn't make even a peep! It was only two hours later after the fight that I even noticed the wound, and even then I noticed it only because my pants were getting soaked by it. "Yeah, I know what you mean, why give up now when we're gotten to a good start, right?", looking straight into her eyes and smiling my usual, sad, smile.
It started three weeks ago; I was sitting in my office at TotalFinder when this guy barges in, splintering the damn look on the door and throwing me off my chair, and starts literally screaming unintelligible words at me at speeds comparable to a god damn machine-gun. Turns out that his fiancé Fiona -- a woman of superb intelligence and experience in the field of bioengineering -- is missing for days now and doesn't respond to calls. They had been working on some really important and big, something to do with way too difficult words for a simple mind like mine to comprehend, and were nearing completion. This guy, doctor OSX Apple, had gone home for the day and was expecting Fiona to come home soon after. But well, quite apparently even such a simple plan can go awry.
"Bah, need more booze and cigarettes before I can whack a few more skulls open ", I murmur, " and a good fuck wouldn't hurt either."
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2010-08-02
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2006-01-01
There once was a man named Thom, beloved of Unicorn's one and all. Upon their backs he rode, wearing nothing but Glitter and gold. In the sun he would wondrously blaze, as he showered Finder/TotalFinder with praise. In homage of Mac OS X he sang, in a voice strong but tang. At night of Fiona Apple he dreamt, she who would rarely give but always tempt.
Member since:
2006-09-29
Unicorny the unicorn asked me yesterday, "What is Fiona Apple?"
"Why do you want to know?" I replied.
"There's this really brilliant website that wants to give me a free copy of Total Finder for the Mac if I can write a story about myself and Fiona Apple. I know all the Apple products from Lisa to Mac and now the i-series. So I guess Fiona must be one of the older products, otherwise it'd be called iFiona."
"Fiona isn't an Apple product. She's a singer."
"What? Really? You mean there's no Apple glitter about it except for her name?"
"What do you mean Apple glitter?"
"You know, the reality distorting glitter that Steve throws around the conference room when designing a new product."
"No glitter, but she has some really nice songs..."
"Wow. Can I download them to my iPhone?"
"Only if you have the money, Unicorny. Only if you have the money."
"What about using BitT******?"
"That's an illegal word. Don't say it otherwise the MPAA will come after us."
"This is weird world," said Unicorny. "I want to go back to my world with stars and dreams and Snow White."
"What's this about Snow White? She's not part of your world."
"Oops. Sorry. Forgot I said that. Snow White did not come to my world and ..."
Member since:
2009-08-26
So I came across Fiona Apple having sex with a Unicorn.
While getting nailed she asked me if I use OSX.
Well yes and no, I replied. I don't really like it but I have to test ASP.NET in it and......yes..the answer is yes.....sigh.
What don't you like about it, she asked.
I don't like how I have to buy an Apple computer to run it and I don't like stoplight, the central menu bar, the dock multitasking interface, how everything is designed around single button mouse, and the lame game selection.
When it was over she was covered in Unicorn glitter but still wanted to talk about OSX, and asked me if I like using Finder.
Umm...I only run VirtualBox and a few browsers, I replied. I only use OSX for testing....I rarely have to use Finder...maybe once a month at the most.
Exhausted from being mounted by the Unicorn as she drifted off into sleep she mumbled....you should try TotalFinder...it's neat.
Member since:
2005-07-06
Member since:
2009-04-17
(Read with a proper accent please.)
It is a widely known fact that Fiona Apple is a bad, bad girl - the criminality of her "bad" actions is, of course, among glitter farting unicorn fanatics, a topic of great debate.
What is not, however, of any significant debate, is her hatred and/or love of all things Apple. Her passion about OS X being, without a doubt, one of the least widely known details about her own belief system. Foremost among her knowledge and/or lack of knowledge of Mac OS X is the adequacy of its file manager: Finder - a name which surely stirs strong, or possibly weak, emotions among many and few, if any, among those fixated on glitter farting unicorns (you know who you are).
But coming to save the day, and assuage the anguish of the suffering user, while eschewing the desires of Ms. Apple (or potentially bringing great delight), is TotalFinder - bringing with it a cornucopia of tabs and, potentially, a multitude of other really, really great things - about which much could be said, but won't be said, primarily as not to offend glitter farting unicorn enthusiasts.
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2009-08-26
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2006-05-18
Once upon a time when unicorns roamed the Earth, there was this little gay unicorn, named Unicorny, who was a big fan of Fiona Apple. One day he heard from one of his unicorn friends that she was going to have a concert nearby. Oh, how happy was the little unicorn. Now all he had to do was leave early from work, put on his glittery "I love Fiona Apple" tshirt and catch the 5 o'clock rainbow to the concert hall.
But, the horror ... Unicorny had a lot of work to do before leaving. His boss asked him to clean-up his computer, and unfortunately for our little unicorn he was a pig when it came to file-management. But the worst of all - he used Mac OS X.
Unicorny searched high and low for a proper way to do this job ... he tried MuCommander, but it crashed too often, he tried PathFinder, but it was too complicated for his little unicorn brain and he even tried to use the terminal, but his hooves were too big for the aluminium keyboard.
"If only Finder were not so retarded", thought Unicorny to himself. As a tear raced from his left eye the room became filled with light and on his desk the Software Fairy appeared.
"I should lay of the pot", said Unicorny and tried to stomp the little creature. "Wait! Stop!" cried the fairy. "I'm the Software Fairy, you little dipshit! Stop trying to kill me and I'll grant you one wish".
Unicorny looked at the little fairy and said with a timid hopeful voice "I want proper file-management on OS X, with all the latest innovations like Cut and Folders first!".
"What you asked is no small feat", said the fairy, "but I have to write an article for OSNews.com latter tonight and I don't have time to hear you whine. Here, have a copy of Total Finder and you'll be done in no time".
"Thank you Mister Fairy" said Unicorny. "You can call me Thom" replied the Fairy and vanished in a cloud of glitter.
Said and done. Unicorny did all his work in time and saw Fiona Apple's concert. That night a little gay unicorn cried tears of joy thanks to Total Finder. The End.
Edited 2011-01-03 08:39 UTC
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2010-03-08
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2006-07-12
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2005-07-10
Almost the same with me.
Well, I have muCommander -- a pure Java tool similar to TotalCommander -- installed. But I rather seldom use it.
pica
Member since:
2011-01-03
Long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away, vast herds of unicorns soared through the skies, roaming freely throughout the world. Until one day, the dark lord Ball-Mehr rained death upon the unicorns and the Great Migration began. There, at the end of each day, the twilight was filled with glitter, as Fiona Apple - the Chosen One - led the herd towards the promised land of Cupertino. In this holy sanctuary, far from the vicissitudes of mediocre operating systems, the herd would rejoice and proliferate. There, they would update their Mac OSX's to the latest version and dreamed of a more complete Finder... a TotalFinder, capable of banishing the cruel priest of the black religion to the depths of the oceans and return to their beloved clouds and tradewinds, high above the pillar's of the earth.
Member since:
2011-01-03
Spock had these highly irrational thoughts of Fiona Apple's heinie since 73 hours 37 minutes and 21 seconds now. He was simultaneously disturbed and fascinated by this phenomenon: normally the impression of female fanny only crossed his mind every seven years, always in glittering colors, riding wild unicorns on the endless fields of Vulcan.
Not this time though, not since Fiona was assimilated by the Borg. Suddenly Spock felt an urge to seek out the Borg at once and join their collective himself, thus merging with the mind-numbing non-glittering heinie forever. And felt an even more pressing craving: he wanted to finally use the much dreaded TotalFinder of the Borg. He showed no sign of it, but he always wanted folders first in his standard issue Finder. He found the factory settings illogical and lacking. Not to mention tabs. He was really digging Mac OS X though.
In the end he never ever found or joined the borg and it is unknown if he continued to see his dream cheeks for the rest of his conscious days. Or even if the cheeks told him something of a fairy tale.
Edited 2011-01-03 11:49 UTC
Member since:
2011-01-03
Member since:
2010-09-23
"So who is this Fiona Apple broad that we have to write about?"
"Who cares, dude, just google her."
"Hmm, not bad. Wonder if I can get pictures of her on alt.pictures.nude.celebrities."
"You still on Usenet?"
"Nah, that was a rhetorical point. Usenet's full of commercial crap these days and there's no good client for Mac OS X anyway. But hey, it would be good to see, you know, provoke the old unicorn effect."
"Yeah, dude, I get it. Do you think she has a daughter?"
"Who are you, Gary Glitter?"
"Never mind that. Show me that picture you just downloaded."
"Sure ... Oh, sorry, Finder's frozen again. If only someone would totally rewrite this POS. You know, they could call it TotalFinder or something."
"Yeah, dream on, dude."
Edited 2011-01-03 13:59 UTC