Apple to announce plans for its $100 billion cash reserve
Linked by Thom Holwerda on Sun 18th Mar 2012 23:26 UTC
Apple "Tim Cook, Apple's CEO, and Peter Oppenheimer, Apple's CFO, will host a conference call to announce the outcome of the company's discussions concerning its cash balance." Interesting. They have $100 billion on the bank - any guesses? Dividend payout? A large acquisition?
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Oh god it's so obvious...
by Thom_Holwerda on Sun 18th Mar 2012 23:37 UTC
Thom_Holwerda
Member since:
2005-06-29

...it's been staring me in the face this whole time.

They're going to buy the US Patent & Trademark Office.

Called it.

Reply Score: 6

RE: Oh god it's so obvious...
by Jondice on Sun 18th Mar 2012 23:43 UTC in reply to "Oh god it's so obvious..."
Jondice Member since:
2006-09-20

Hopefully they will do something cool like invest in resources to make a modern NeXT station. Yeah!

Reply Score: 2

RE[2]: Oh god it's so obvious...
by JAlexoid on Mon 19th Mar 2012 01:18 UTC in reply to "RE: Oh god it's so obvious..."
JAlexoid Member since:
2009-05-19

Next NeXT station?

Reply Score: 3

RE: Oh god it's so obvious...
by WorknMan on Mon 19th Mar 2012 04:01 UTC in reply to "Oh god it's so obvious..."
WorknMan Member since:
2005-11-13

They're going to buy the US Patent & Trademark Office.


Ha, with that much money, they might just by the US ;)

Reply Score: 1

RE[2]: Oh god it's so obvious...
by ggeldenhuys on Tue 20th Mar 2012 08:26 UTC in reply to "RE: Oh god it's so obvious..."
ggeldenhuys Member since:
2006-11-13

Rolling On the Floor, Laughing! Excellent one. ;)

Reply Score: 1

RE: Oh god it's so obvious...
by kryogenix on Thu 22nd Mar 2012 04:36 UTC in reply to "Oh god it's so obvious..."
kryogenix Member since:
2008-01-06

LOL They're going to become "Brawndo" from idiocracy.

"You have to buy an iPad.....it's got megapixels! It's what people crave."

"What's a MegaPixel?! Do you even know what a megapixel IS?!"

"Duuhhhhhh ummmm duuuuhhhh it's what people crave!"

Reply Score: 1

Twitter
by kristoph on Sun 18th Mar 2012 23:56 UTC
kristoph
Member since:
2006-01-01

Their going to sit on it for another year.

Somewhere before the 12 months is out their going to buy Twitter.

Reply Score: 2

Comment by stabbyjones
by stabbyjones on Mon 19th Mar 2012 00:25 UTC
stabbyjones
Member since:
2008-04-15

set it all on fire and laugh.

Reply Score: 3

Saving to buy Microsoft?
by sb56637 on Mon 19th Mar 2012 00:30 UTC
sb56637
Member since:
2006-05-11

Saving to buy Microsoft?

Reply Score: 5

Worldwide Apple carrier
by Dmackie on Mon 19th Mar 2012 01:23 UTC
Dmackie
Member since:
2012-03-19

A world wide carrier that delivers unlimited plans for all Apple devices at break even cost.
Would drive sales of new products and allow Apple to add any feature without carrier consent.
It would revolutionize the market.

Reply Score: 1

RE: Worldwide Apple carrier
by alexz on Mon 19th Mar 2012 02:14 UTC in reply to "Worldwide Apple carrier"
alexz Member since:
2012-02-25

It would indeed create a revolution.
We can say what we want on Apple, they've been pretty effective when it comes to changing a market.

Before the App Store, most software publishers were charging WAY more than 30% when you wanted to sell mobile apps through their platform. Same goes for music.

They also force carriers to sell you smartphones with no added bullshit. With the apple tv, I'm sure they will eventually succeed at forcing hollywood to license its content.

Personally, I wouldn't subscribe to Apple as a carrier because of privacy concerns and because I do not own idevices anyway.

But I seriously hope they, at some point, create competition among carriers because it will force other behemoths to change. And I'm not blind mind you, I know it benefits them first and foremost to "change the world" and the customer/developer/musician satisfaction is only a nice side effect.

Reply Score: 1

I got it......
by ballmerlikesgoogle on Mon 19th Mar 2012 01:30 UTC
ballmerlikesgoogle
Member since:
2009-10-23

Apple is going to change their name to Weyland-Yutani Corporation and start "Building Better Worlds".....

Reply Score: 4

Comment by Drumhellar
by Drumhellar on Mon 19th Mar 2012 02:02 UTC
Drumhellar
Member since:
2005-07-12
bad article
by fredslidey on Mon 19th Mar 2012 02:10 UTC
fredslidey
Member since:
2012-03-19

After reading their Financial Statement Apple only has 10billion in real Cash in their bank account.. the rest of the 90B has already been spent on US Government Bonds and Other Corporate securities. They would have to sell their Bonds and securities to raise real "cash".

Reply Score: 3

RE: bad article
by cyrilleberger on Mon 19th Mar 2012 07:06 UTC in reply to "bad article"
cyrilleberger Member since:
2006-02-01

Both of them are so easy to sell that they are mostly equivalent to cash.

Reply Score: 3

They could use the money...
by Dr.Mabuse on Mon 19th Mar 2012 02:51 UTC
Dr.Mabuse
Member since:
2009-05-19

...To build something that actually matters to the world.

iPads and iPhones are the modern day equivilant of Rubik's Cubes and Yoyos.

Except they cost a whole lot more and need replacement every 12 months.

This gimmick can't run out of steam fast enough for me.

Reply Score: 3

RE: They could use the money...
by viton on Tue 20th Mar 2012 12:04 UTC in reply to "They could use the money..."
viton Member since:
2005-08-09

iPads and iPhones are the modern day equivilant of Rubik's Cubes and Yoyos.

And what is not? Android phones or tablets? LOL
Yeah, you can perform phone calls and browse the web, navigate, organize stuff, watch online video and read documents with Yoyo. I occasionally use my Android phone for some GPU coding fun. Also I use clojure and emulators.

Except they cost a whole lot more and need replacement every 12 months.

That could be said about computer stuff overall.

Edited 2012-03-20 12:10 UTC

Reply Score: 2

well, apple to the moon
by l3v1 on Mon 19th Mar 2012 04:35 UTC
l3v1
Member since:
2005-07-06

Well, they will build a spaceship, to up to the Moon and make it in the shape of an Apple logo.

There, a hundred bil well spent.

Actually, if they would do it, I couldn't say it would surprise me, coming from Apple.

Reply Score: 2

RE: well, apple to the moon
by Dr.Mabuse on Mon 19th Mar 2012 05:14 UTC in reply to "well, apple to the moon"
Dr.Mabuse Member since:
2009-05-19

So they "invented" the Moon as well? :-D

Reply Score: 2

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