Linked by Kroc Camen on Tue 15th Jun 2010 10:03 UTC
Apple Apple have updated the Mac Mini. It now sports an aluminium (no, I am not going to spell it "aluminum") enclosure, an HDMI port, an internal PSU (no power-brick!) and oddly, an SD card slot in the back. There's also an access hole on the bottom to change the RAM easily.
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Techies, Santa, and the like...
by Neolander on Wed 16th Jun 2010 19:33 UTC
Neolander
Member since:
2010-03-08

Well, it looks like there are still people believing in "techies" around, so I thought that it would be interesting to go into more details about why I believe that those don't exist.

First, let's condensate what's gravitating around the "techie" concept :
-He is biologically speaking an average human being, generally male (hence the "he"), with a particular interest in science and technology.
-This interest to such a boring subject can be explained by the fact that he has been blessed by the God of Technology with the ability to directly connect its brain to any electronic device through the use of electromagnetic waves, bypassing any computer interface. This allows him to silently ignore standard user interfaces designed for mere mortals and just go straight to the point. It works even in situations when the device looks broken, because the electromagnetic waves provide enough energy to power on the device just the time needed to communicate to its prophet what's going on. Be careful that because of this, techies may, after long exposure, cause cancer.
-Because of their telepathic fusion with electronic devices, techies feel very comfortable about them, and always buy lots of them. A so-called techie which only has one computer in his house for work is not a real techie, but rather someone who pretends to be one. Even if he sees computers everyday because of his job, he always want more, and can never get enough. This intimate relationship is beyond human comprehension, and goes way further compared to normal human contact. This explains why techies feel uncomfortable with other human beings, and prefer to stay at home (where home is everywhere when there's a computer, or a smartphone if no computer is available) and never go out. Notice that this conveniently make their existence non-falsifiable, since even if you never see one in the wild ever, you can still profess that it's because they stay at home.
-Techies do not have normal human needs in terms of feature. They always ask for things which are obviously useless, not because they are stupid but because features are a kind of meal for them. The more electronic device features they gather around them, the better they feel. Techies have a relationship with feature diversity that is closely related with that which flowers have with the sun. This, and not some logic reasoning, explains why techies always look for features on a device and don't seem to care for things such as look and UI.
-Oh, and techies are the sole people who can stand technological language (they invented it, in fact), so everyone at OSnews is a techie... Except for the original poster, who is some kind of anthropologist who somehow managed to conduct an in-depth study of techies and get a great understanding of them without becoming one at all. Because he has been blessed by the God of Anthropology with the gift of being able to understand people instantly. Don't argue.

I think that with this, I pretty much described what a techie in the sense often mentioned is. It's some kind of superhuman being who grew so advanced that it doesn't care about normal mankind anymore. So you have to hate it, because it's better than you, and encountering one makes you understand how much you suck facing tech. And because like any superhuman being, they are part of a conspiracy, whose goal is to voluntarily make electronic devices more and more complicated so that they become an indispensable mean of communication between them and the human race and can finally rule the world. Only Steve Jobs managed to understand their evil deeds and tries to invert the tendency by making products which explicitly target normal human being. But he's alone, and techies try to make it disappear (see his "Android tries to kill the iPhone" rant). So any sane human being who is not yet sold to the techie race should help him.

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