Linked by Thom Holwerda on Thu 9th Jun 2011 18:51 UTC
Internet & Networking It's official now. The signs had been there for a while now. While the west bangs on about the importance of freedom and democracy, they don't actually want anyone to have too much of it. The US, France, and the UK have jointly pretty much declared war on freedom on the web.
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Plus ca change...
by KLU9 on Fri 10th Jun 2011 22:56 UTC
KLU9
Member since:
2006-12-06

The Kingdoms of England and France (and the colonies of their most magnificent realms) today declared war on the so-called freedom of the "pryntinge presse".

Ministers for Their Royal Majesties, by means of their respective town criers, made clear they would brook no resistance to their efforts to defend the souls of their subjects.

"No soul in Christendom shall be lost to the machinations of Satan as expressed by this infernal device."

Principal among the concerns of Their Most Gracious Majesties for their loyal and adoring subjects was protecting them from damaging exposure to unapproved knowledge.

"No mere mortal stands a chance of avoiding hell if they can read anything they want. Their lesser minds are not capable of discerning the good from the bad. Heavens, imagine if they actually got their hands on a Bible in a language they could understand!" quoth one member of the Court, who argued for the benefits of all scriptures, scrolls and books being transcribed solely by a few monks and officially licensed scribes.

Another sign of Their Majesties' love for their faithful subjects is their most sincere wishes to protect them from smut and degradation.

"The pryntynge presse must be controlled by His Majesty's Government so as to defend the juvenile sector of His subjects from being inspired to think of marital activities before their parents have betrothed them to whomsoever offered the most favourable pecuniary prospects," stated His Majesty's Most Honorable Master of the Revels for London and the Home Counties, Sir Fyffe Fyffe-Fythingham-Fyffe.

"Already, we have received word of striplings poring over filth in epistles and engravings such as 'Ye Penthoose Correspondenses' and 'Bairely Dowry-Worthy'. If His Highest Majesty does not act to bring the presses under His Most Gracious control, all our young ones will know the ways of the bedchamber at ages far too advanced for their moral development, such as five or six years instead of the normal eleven or twelve years suitable for matrimony and being bedded", quoth Sir Fyffe.

Sir Fyffe had but strong words for prynters who might flee His Majesty's Grace. "And lest ye think of decamping to the Low Countries whither to traffick your contraband into His Most Gracious Majesty's Realm, His Most Loyal Men of Revenue and Customs shall, by grace of God and His Majesty, endeavour without ceasing to protect His most loyal subjects from your vain attempts to trick them into the ways of Satan."

When asked whether the Office of the Revels would also prevent the copying and prynted reproduction therewith of the works of bookwrights and playwrights (such as Master Shakespeere of Blackfriars, London), Sir Fyffe was perplexed, perhaps because it would another pair of centuries before someone would invent 'copyright'. "What a capital idea, another monopoly and license to grant at His Majesty's Grace and contribute to His Treasury. Wait till I tell the Chancellor!"

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