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Member since:
2009-08-22
A customer enters a Best Buy shop.
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The owner does not respond.)
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean "miss"?
Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
Owner: We're closin' for lunch.
Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this HP Touchpad what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the webOS HP Touchpad…What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'it's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,…it's resting.
Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead tablet when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Owner: No no it's not dead, it's, it's restin'! Remarkable tablet, the HP Touchpad, idn'it, ay? Beautiful interface!
Mr. Praline: The interface don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'it's resting!
Mr. Praline: All right then, if it's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the screen) 'Ello, Mister webOS! I've got a lovely app for you if you ?show...
owner hits the tablet)
Owner: There, it moved!
Mr. Praline: No, he didn't, that was you hitting it!
Owner: I never!!
Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!
Owner: I never, never did anything...
Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the tablet repeatedly) 'ELLO Touchpad!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call! (Takes tablet out of the case and thumps it on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead tablet.
Owner: No, no.....No, it's stunned!
Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?
Owner: Yeah! You stunned it, just as he was wakin' up! Touchpads stun easily, major.
Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That tablet is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ?ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged reboot.
Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for Palm.
Mr. Praline: PININ' for the PALM?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?
Owner: The Touchpad prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable tablet, id'nit, squire? Lovely interface!