Linked by Thom Holwerda on Mon 28th May 2012 19:25 UTC
In the News This topic comes up quite a lot on technology websites, but I generally try to steer clear from it as much as possible, since I'm not the one to talk about it (you know, with me being a man and all that), however, I feel it might be a good idea to just get my opinion out there and be done with it. The topic of women in IT is a hot-button issue, so let me just go out guns blazing: assuming women need special treatment, help, protection, and affirmative action is just as insulting and degrading as outright claiming women have no place in IT - maybe even more so.
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RE[3]: Hmh.
by Alfman on Wed 30th May 2012 02:15 UTC in reply to "RE[2]: Hmh."
Alfman
Member since:
2011-01-28

WereCatf,

"a woman is the one who has to breast-feed the child since most men cannot do that, and if the parent is responsible she won't put the child in daycare for atleast the first 3 years."

Wow, I don't even know how to respond to this. It's sad and painful to leave a child and go to work, but that's the modern reality for every single "responsible" parent I've ever known. Having a spouse stay home full time to take care of the kids is an ideology that few families can afford any more. My wife's job only permitted a year of unpaid leave for childcare before they would dismiss her. Get this, on top of everything else, while she was on leave I was paying $1450/month to continue our cobra health plan that her job stopped covering while she was on leave. She didn't want to go back to work but I don't make enough income to support our family - sometimes I'm so ashamed of this fact that it brings tears to my eyes.


"That area is one where more men could grow some balls and take charge of caring for the children at home, that I agree with. It just doesn't seem to be happening."

It's not an easy thing to do. I watch our child for two weekdays, and the other 3 weekdays she's at childcare. But it's very difficult to find a good job at all, much less one willing to work around childcare. I've been denied positions due to my request to have some time off with her. I'm tormented about taking a job in NYC that pays better but forces me to commute 3.5hrs/day, since I wouldn't see my daughter at all during the week. I know parents who do exactly that, and I find it so sad that society forces us to make family compromises like that.


WereCatf, you need to count your blessings if you can stay home with your child or maybe have a relative that can while you cannot. Don't judge those of us who face this struggle every day, especially if you haven't been in our shoes.

Edited 2012-05-30 02:28 UTC

Reply Parent Score: 2