Linked by Thom Holwerda on Wed 11th Jul 2012 01:24 UTC
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Member since:
2006-12-06
For the visually impaired, here's what's written on the page...
Technology has been evolving over the past couple of years. But I still turn text articles into a f#*king great jpeg, just like pisspoor excuses for webmasters used to do back in the 90s.
Technology has advanced, but I had to do this text-to-jpeg conversion manually, because there's no way to do it other than in my $800 edition of Adobe Photoshop.
How come then that the Web has never really changed? This ticked the part of my brain that likes to design boring fonts that "fix" the "problems" in Helvetica and which nobody will ever use.
I know of course that I can do better and I've done just that. You can attach my Nobel prize and send it to me at my .me address.
1. Text is useless and not fit for a creative workflow. All web creation programs (Dreamweaver, Indesign, ...er... FrontPage.... er... that's it) should *automatically* convert text into image files. Like jpegs. Or even better: animated GIFs!!
2. I'm always looking for ACTIONSTEPS (patented, copyrighted, registered trademark). Once I've created my FGJFT (f*#king great jpeg for text) webpage, I want my web editor to automatically offer logical next steps, like "Add auto-playing MIDI" or "Upload to following: Tripod, Angelfire, Geocities".
3. And why does nobody but me ever have the intelligence to think about ***stuff***? Christ, am I only one with a brain?
Thank you for basking in my worthiness.
Disclosure: I have edited the original article somewhat... you know, for length.
;)