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You: Hello, my Russian friend! Thanks again for configuring Windows XP Home on my new EMachines computer. Yes, I'd like to know how Word documents are saved.

Me: You'd like to know what?

You: I'd like to know how Word documents are saved, I'm trying to find someone to write a new software application to be a replacement for MS Word I had.

Me: I'm sorry, but I think Microsoft cannot reveal that information for free, you'll have to pay.

You: Why?

Me: It's their intellectual property. They believe that intellectual property has a material value.

You: But I have ten years worth of essays, articles, assignments, photos, music, and other memorabilia saved as Word documents. My copy of Word is right now somewhere on the tarmac of the Iceland International Airport. A friend of mine, Steve, who is quite good with computers, told me I'll have to buy a copy of Word if I wish to access those files.

Me: I'm terribly sorry, but he played practical joke on you! You do not have to buy a copy of Word if you wish to access those files, there are plenty of alternatives, some are free of charge, some will costs you, some will cost you a lot.

You: But I play my MP3s without buying anything (except the original CDs, of course).

Me: Before we continue, I need you to agree that it is OK to pay for software. Software developers like to be paid. You like to be paid for job you are doing. The money to pay salaries has to come from somewhere. If you do not pay for driving on highway, it does not mean it costs nothing to build and maintain roads.

You: OK, OK, chill man. I need your help with that Wordy stuff, so I am going to agree it is OK to pay for software in one or other way- just to make you happy.

Me: So, back to your trouble: you had been able to create Word documents before, for the last ten years to be exact, what's your problem now?

You: This new EMachines you set for me, I don't want to buy another copy of Word for it. I can retrieve my old copy of MS Office eventually, but I need something now!

Me: Fear not! I can help you. Won't cost you a dime. Anything else?

You: I have a question: if Word is a standard then surely everyone needs to know how it works?

Me: You have new Toyota Prius that made me jealous, with that overly complex hybrid engine and automatic transmission as a standard option. Do you know how they work?

You: No... On car dashboard there is flashy screen that tells me my current MPG. Low numbers make me happy, high numbers make me reconsider my driving habits.

Me: Your ignorance in basic and advanced automotive concepts did not stop you from buying and driving this car... Next question!

You: My friend Steve told me that I am in danger of losing my ten years collection of documents if Microsoft stops supporting MS Office and MS Word becomes obsolete.

Me: Well, what I am going to say means nothing to you, but please repeat the following to Steve exactly as I say: "Do you know how many banks out there are still running OS/2?" As for you, my friend, allow no uncertainty in your mind: you can still use your old Word to open, edit and print your old Word documents.

You: My friend Steve also told me I lease software, not own it, so that Microsoft well within their rights to make running old versions of their software illegal.

Me: You told me before that you lease your Prius. What would happen if dealership you leased it from revoke your lease and legally take away your car from you and also from every Prius owner?

You: I will never have business with that dealership, I will not buy cars from that car manufacturer ever again, and I'll sue their collective asses in a high profile class action lawsuit!

Me: So, even if you would not go so far as to start a law suit, I know you are a peaceful man, would you agree it is suicidal for a for profit public company that sells its products for money to alienate their customer base that way- especially when alternatives are plenty?

You: No doubt!

Me: Well, these car analogies really work! I should use them more often. Next question!

You: If my friend emails me a Word document then I do not have to buy a copy of Word from Microsoft to read my friends letter?

Me: You do not have to. You can, and it would be right thing to do if you like Microsoft Word, but no- you do not have to.

You: I See. My friend Steve also told me that open standards are better than anything else.

Me: There are open standards, and there are de-facto standards. De-facto standards appear when a specific product implementing them becomes very popular. Then, competition catches with it, and starts supporting it- boom, suddenly you have plenty of choice. It is exactly like Word documents: it is de-facto standard from Microsoft but you do not need to have software from Microsoft to use it.

You: Don't be so evasive, are open standards always better?

Me: I hate words like "always," they belong to the religion. What if new and very popular SuperOffice supports open standard for documents that your Office does not? What would you do if your friend emails you a document in SuperOffice native document format? You will have to wait until your Office vendor makes an upgrade to their product- which could or could not be free of charge. Alternatively, you could switch to SuperOffice- which could or could not be painless. Even getting viewer for SuperOffice document format may not be an easy task, if your computer runs PC-DOS or OS/2, for example. Never mind PC-DOS, in any case, establishing open standard as a new de-facto standard is not so simple as it sounds when Steve tells you.

You: Steve, Steve... You know, in my country people are hung for this sort of thing.

Me: That is why you and me left our countries for America. But do not be so harsh. Steve wants you to live in a better world. I am willing to help you live better in your world.

You: Hello?

Me: See ya soon. Will be at your house shortly to fix your Wordy problem and then I can drink a glass of vodka with you. It's OK, my wife will be driving, she wants to see your new Prius too.