posted by Sean Cohen on Mon 5th Jul 2004 18:23 UTC

"A Comedy Of Eras, Page 2/8"


I also attached the manufacturers datasheet to add an air of authenticity. Over the next few days I received a few interested calls, and more than a few confused ones. Alas, the interested calls failed to develop into successful sales. On to plan B..



"Plastic Surgery Raffle - Win Your Body Re-Sculpted!!

Body Text:

All you need to do to win this incredible prize is inquire about this FABULOUS LAPTOP FOR SALE!!

With the miracles of modern technology and medicine all you need to do is own this state-of-the-art fat fighting machine, and you'll be on your way to a record-breaking figure.

Step 1: Make an offer for this laptop, truly an amazing machine.

Step 2: Log on to the Internet with you brand new laptop.

Step 3: Watch the kilos and the inches just MELT AWAY!!

And who said losing weight can't be easy? Or fun?

If you have experience playing solitaire and checking your email then you already have all the skills necessary to use this revolutionary invention. Just imagine, you could be losing weight AT THIS VERY MOMENT!!

(Note: Actual weight loss may vary. Additional exercise may be necessary to supplement the effect of the "Weight-Loss Laptop")

Enter NOW!!"


Plenty of witty retorts, but no takers. Perhaps I was targeting the wrong demographic..

Advert number three:



"Fully Sick WRX Laptop for sale..

Body Text:

Fully Sick Turbo Acer WRX Laptop, (current model, with the updated front bar)

The fog lights have been replaced with STI light covers, the suspension has been custom lowered 2.4 inches, with 17-inch mags. I've also added a 3.5 inch mandrel bent exhaust and 4 subwoofers in the boot, but they only come on when cornering (connected to a wicked system, but). 3pac enamel, tinted windows and nitro boosters added last weekend.

Customised FULSIK license plate also available."


That hit the spot. One phone call, followed by a quick sale. I sold the machine for less than I had hoped, but not uncomfortably so - I was happy to make up the difference. I believe I let it go for a good price, Acer currently sells a similar (new) machine for about $1800, and my machine retailed for about $2200 at the time I bought it. It still had six months left on the warranty, and I still had all the original paperwork and included software. To cut a long story short, fun was had by all.

The only issue at hand was that I would need to purchase the new Apple iBook before the Acer was sold, so as to copy across all our personal data. Unfortunatley, the prospective buyer was driving from Newcastle (about 2 - 3 hours away) down to Sydney to have a look at the machine and (understandly)wasn't planning on making the purchase if she wasn't happy with what she saw (very, very, very unlikely, but possible nonetheless). That would leave me to return the newly purchased iBook to the store, at a personal cost of around AU$250. Not good. Ordinarily there would be plenty of spare computers around my house on which to back up my data, but since the move from Perth to Sydney last year we have been strictly a "one computer" household. It pains me to say it, but I left a part of me in a warehouse somewhere in Fremantle. I feel naked without them, but there's nothing I can do. Wife in, random-pieces-of-electronic-junk out.

Anyway, I visited a local Apple store and explained the situation to "Con":

Me: "Con, I really want to buy this machine. I've wanted one for a while. I'm standing in the store right now, and I can almost picture myself handing over the cash. The only problem is that $250 return fee, I'm not sure I can swing that past my fiancee. Is there anything we can do about it?"

Con: "No."

Me: "Ah."


Me: "Right.


Me: "Okay then."


Me: "Bugger."

Con: "Do you want my advice?"

Me: "Sure!"

Con: "Don't buy the machine."

Me: "Huh?"

Con: "Don't do it. They're amazing little boxes, but the last thing you want to do is annoy your fiancee and waste two hundred and fifty bucks just for a computer. Do you have another machine at home?"

Me: "No. Just the one I'm hoping to sell."

Con: "How about a friend? Could you borrow a machine for the weekend?"

Me: "I doubt it. Bad time, lots of uni work."

Con: "Do you have a CD burner in that Acer?"

Me: "Sure do, but it's 12 Gig of data that I want to copy across."

Con: "Well I hope you don't have any plans for the evening."

Me: "Uh."

Con: "Tell you what, if you end up selling that Acer then just drop by and I'll give you a good deal on the new iBook. But don't stress too much about it."

Table of contents
  1. "A Comedy Of Eras, Page 1/8"
  2. "A Comedy Of Eras, Page 2/8"
  3. "A Comedy Of Eras, Page 3/8"
  4. "A Comedy Of Eras, Page 4/8"
  5. "A Comedy Of Eras, Page 5/8"
  6. "A Comedy Of Eras, Page 6/8"
  7. "A Comedy Of Eras, Page 7/8"
  8. "A Comedy Of Eras, Page 8/8"
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