Linked by Thom Holwerda on Tue 25th Aug 2009 14:45 UTC, submitted by Moulinneuf
Legal Not too long ago, Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw explained he had found the perfect husband for Lara Croft: Jason Voorhees. They both have way too many sequels all following a default plot, they both murder a lot and spend a lot of time underground, but most of all: none of them will ever just die. In that light, I suggest another husband for Miss Croft: Darl McBride. Instant update: Darl McBride responds. See inside.
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Now be fair. Gates isn't so bad ;) . I'm sure if I ever got to know the guy, I'd get along quite well. It's that overgrown used-car salesman, Ballmer, that I take issue with. He's like what would happen if you crossed Gil (the down and out guy who's always selling something different and one step from suicide - refer to his attempt at selling computers to see why I picked him) and Lionel Hutz from the Simpsons with a Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-flailing Tube Man, and fed it pure red cordial syrup.

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