Linked by Kroc Camen on Tue 15th Jun 2010 10:03 UTC
Apple Apple have updated the Mac Mini. It now sports an aluminium (no, I am not going to spell it "aluminum") enclosure, an HDMI port, an internal PSU (no power-brick!) and oddly, an SD card slot in the back. There's also an access hole on the bottom to change the RAM easily.
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Techies, Santa, and the like...
by Neolander on Wed 16th Jun 2010 19:33 UTC
Neolander
Member since:
2010-03-08

Well, it looks like there are still people believing in "techies" around, so I thought that it would be interesting to go into more details about why I believe that those don't exist.

First, let's condensate what's gravitating around the "techie" concept :
-He is biologically speaking an average human being, generally male (hence the "he"), with a particular interest in science and technology.
-This interest to such a boring subject can be explained by the fact that he has been blessed by the God of Technology with the ability to directly connect its brain to any electronic device through the use of electromagnetic waves, bypassing any computer interface. This allows him to silently ignore standard user interfaces designed for mere mortals and just go straight to the point. It works even in situations when the device looks broken, because the electromagnetic waves provide enough energy to power on the device just the time needed to communicate to its prophet what's going on. Be careful that because of this, techies may, after long exposure, cause cancer.
-Because of their telepathic fusion with electronic devices, techies feel very comfortable about them, and always buy lots of them. A so-called techie which only has one computer in his house for work is not a real techie, but rather someone who pretends to be one. Even if he sees computers everyday because of his job, he always want more, and can never get enough. This intimate relationship is beyond human comprehension, and goes way further compared to normal human contact. This explains why techies feel uncomfortable with other human beings, and prefer to stay at home (where home is everywhere when there's a computer, or a smartphone if no computer is available) and never go out. Notice that this conveniently make their existence non-falsifiable, since even if you never see one in the wild ever, you can still profess that it's because they stay at home.
-Techies do not have normal human needs in terms of feature. They always ask for things which are obviously useless, not because they are stupid but because features are a kind of meal for them. The more electronic device features they gather around them, the better they feel. Techies have a relationship with feature diversity that is closely related with that which flowers have with the sun. This, and not some logic reasoning, explains why techies always look for features on a device and don't seem to care for things such as look and UI.
-Oh, and techies are the sole people who can stand technological language (they invented it, in fact), so everyone at OSnews is a techie... Except for the original poster, who is some kind of anthropologist who somehow managed to conduct an in-depth study of techies and get a great understanding of them without becoming one at all. Because he has been blessed by the God of Anthropology with the gift of being able to understand people instantly. Don't argue.

I think that with this, I pretty much described what a techie in the sense often mentioned is. It's some kind of superhuman being who grew so advanced that it doesn't care about normal mankind anymore. So you have to hate it, because it's better than you, and encountering one makes you understand how much you suck facing tech. And because like any superhuman being, they are part of a conspiracy, whose goal is to voluntarily make electronic devices more and more complicated so that they become an indispensable mean of communication between them and the human race and can finally rule the world. Only Steve Jobs managed to understand their evil deeds and tries to invert the tendency by making products which explicitly target normal human being. But he's alone, and techies try to make it disappear (see his "Android tries to kill the iPhone" rant). So any sane human being who is not yet sold to the techie race should help him.

Reply Score: 2

Moochman Member since:
2005-07-06

Props, that was hilarious ;)

Reply Parent Score: 2

Neolander Member since:
2010-03-08

This is, in my experience, what most people call a techie. Now, etymologically speaking, techie is just a short word for "technicians", which means people who are very knowledgeable in one specific domain of science and technology. We need such people because as human knowledge gets more and more complicated, when choosing between "knowing everything a little bit" and "knowing something for sure", the second choice becomes more and more sensible, as long as it's combined with people who made the first choice in order to coordinate things up.

What are real-world technicians ? A lot of people become technicians because they're passionate, but let's restrict ourselves to some examples of peoples whose job is to be one. As I said before, professional photographers can be considered as such. They work at such high picture quality level that they can't anymore just take pictures and assume that the camera will do fine. They get extensive knowledge about photography theory, and then apply it on professional cameras which allows them to set everything up by hand instead of setting everything up all by itself. This is because current technology can't, in the end, fully replace human taste when you have neat results in mind.

Then, we can consider the case of plumbers and electricians. They exist because working with pipes and electrical circuitry is both cumbersome and dangerous. People don't want to risk their lives trying random things out, and don't have the time or the will to learn enough to work on the broken system safely. However, they have some spare money. They hence call somebody who has studied plumbing/electricity a lot and knows for sure how to solve common problems and how to find out solutions to less common problems.

And because the techie stereotype is nowadays over-linked with computer science, this short list of examples wouldn't be complete without a computer scientist, so let's take a network administrator. You have four hundred computers. You want to make them work together. However, at such a large scale, the "just try putting a large hub in the middle, connecting every computer to it, and crossing fingers" methodology won't work, be it only because default configuration of computers only allow for 256 machines to be simultaneously connected to a network. Or because a single router failure can take the whole company's network down. For that reason, you hire a guy, who knows about the internals of computer networks and can explain why something which looks that simple can crash that easily, ask him to make the computers work together, and give him all information that he may ask for, so that he can get, based on his personal knowledge, make some computer network that rocks without you even knowing a single thing about its internals except colors.

Globally, good real-world techs have the common characteristic of being a black box. You give them money, they do the dirty work for you and you keep your own hands clean. A good tech is the most user-friendly tool ever invented, because he allows you to get a problem solved without even slightly knowing what's happening (try this with things like a screw driver or a hammer... but not when I'm around). Hence, he's one of the most valuable professionals in a company. I don't know how I could get anything done if I did had some knowledgeable people around me, honestly.

But for some reason, people keep exposing misconceptions about "techies" (even though their real nature is simple and obvious), and bashing them for the sake of bashing, in a fashion that somehow make them look as if they were jealous of the hardly-acquired capacities of the techs.

I just can't get that. Do you ?

Edited 2010-06-16 20:06 UTC

Reply Parent Score: 2

spiderman Member since:
2008-10-23

But for some reason, people keep exposing misconceptions about "techies" (even though their real nature is simple and obvious), and bashing them for the sake of bashing, in a fashion that somehow make them look as if they were jealous of the hardly-acquired capacities of the techs.

I just can't get that. Do you ?

Actually, when they say techie, they really mean "nerd" or "geek". It's just normal argumentum ad hominem. They don't like your point of view, get angry and call you a nerd, really meaning "an idiot" even though they know nothing about you. Pretty standard on any forum on the Internet I must say.

Reply Parent Score: 2