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Sounds like yet another typical cynical comment. So Ubuntu isnt wanting to make their interface exactly like everything else. Big whoop. It's not that hard to change.
I personally prefer window Close on the left, with Min and Max on the right. Know what I did about it? I changed it myself.
While you're at it, complain about the wallpaper.
You're not getting it. Windows has millions of users because they don't need to configure anything like that upon default install. Ubuntu looks for Windows refugees (look at bug #1 in launchpad) and I am afraid the target users now will become the Amiga/MacOS ones. Are you really confident that Windows newcomers will adopt the Amiga/MacOS global menu? Just wait and see.
Default settings usually have a huge impact on userbase, so it's just not a matter of yourself going there and change it.
I can remember the first thing I did after installing Windows XP was to change the theme back to classic instead of that awful Luna theme.
Ubuntu 11.04 looks like Ubuntu 10.10 if you select Ubuntu Classic at the login screen. Or go to System > Administration > Login Screen, and set Ubuntu Classic as the default.
If you dislike buttons being on the left and/or being out of order then you could select another theme or download a different one or make a new theme.
So Ubuntu is doing something different and it will either be a success or a failure. If it really bothers you then could start a constructive discussion on lauchpad or the mailing lists. For the unexpected slowdowns, perhaps raise a bug report. Or just continue to use another distribution.