This is my reality. I am not an emotionally empathetic kind of person and that probably doesn’t come as a big surprise to anybody. Least of all me. The fact that I then misread people and don’t realize (for years) how badly I’ve judged a situation and contributed to an unprofessional environment is not good.
This week people in our community confronted me about my lifetime of not understanding emotions. My flippant attacks in emails have been both unprofessional and uncalled for. Especially at times when I made it personal. In my quest for a better patch, this made sense to me. I know now this was not OK and I am truly sorry.
The above is basically a long-winded way to get to the somewhat painful personal admission that hey, I need to change some of my
behavior, and I want to apologize to the people that my personal behavior hurt and possibly drove away from kernel development
I am going to take time off and get some assistance on how to understand people’s emotions and respond appropriately.
Actions speak louder than words, so we’ll see if this sudden realisation will lead to anything tangible.
It’s true that it’s “just words” right now, but it’s still hard to say things like this about yourself.