Linked by Thom Holwerda on Sun 2nd Jan 2011 22:40 UTC
Gifts, Contests, Easter Eggs A few weeks ago, we took a look at TotalFinder, a collection of add-ons to the Mac OS X Finder that fixes some of its shortcomings, adds some welcome features, and in all, makes it a little more pleasant to use. We've got three free copies of TotalFinder to hand out, so read on to find out how you can win one!
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My Fiona Apple Story
by Feldmrschl on Mon 3rd Jan 2011 16:27 UTC
Feldmrschl
Member since:
2006-11-13

In spite of what most people would think, being a unicorn rancher is a rather dull and dreary job. Sure, the initial sight of your first unicorn, with its flowing mane of luminescent glitter, will never leave you, but, frankly, once you've seen one, you've seen them all. They're really just sparkly horses with that stupid horn on their foreheads, after all. Mutants, really. And dumb as a box of rocks, too, but that's another story for another time.

Anyway, as I was saying, my life as a unicorn rancher is a rather dull and dreary job. Most days anyway. However, the morning when Fiona Apple and her entourage arrived at my doorstep to do a photo shoot with the horned buggers, well, that was quite a day I can tell you. The photo shoot was for her fourth album, Lancelot in Faeries, or some such thing, I don't really recall to tell you the truth, but her production manager had gotten wind of my unique little ranch and decided that pictures of Fiona riding a unicorn would be just the thing for the album cover.

Oh what a day that was of barely controlled chaos that was! There were costumes galore and, of course, I had to help wrangle the right unicorns for each shot. See, unicorns don't like to be ridden, unless, of course you offer the right inducements. And for most unicorns, that inducement is fruitcake. They love their fruitcake. If you can get a unicorn to chew on a piece of year old fruitcake, the older the better, you can do whatever you want with them. Why, you can even dress them up in 19th century ball gowns and assorted soldier uniforms and stage your own barn dance, but that's another story for another time.

Did I mention that being a unicorn rancher was dull?

So after a few photos of Fiona riding on the backs of Glimmer, Headcase and Frenchy, it came time to settle accounts. Now, I'm not big into any of that computer mumbo-jumbo. My cousin from the city, the one who used to work for one of them fancy New York banks, tried to get me to use a computer once before. It was a Wista or Pista or some darn thing. All I know is that it pissed me off and I threw it off a cliff after Frolic and I went for a nice, moonlit ride down by the canyon. Well, these Fiona folks were using these Mac OS Ten computers and they were able to pay me directly into my bank account. What shiny gadgets these things were! When I made a comment about my old computer, they showed me all their tools, like iTunes and TotalFinder and the like. Pretty impressive stuff! It's still not my thing, I mean, I'm not made of money, but still pretty darn nice.

So that's my Fiona Apple story. I hope you enjoyed it. Now I'm gonna go out to the fold and take Backsider out for a ride. G'day.

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