Yes, we have the winners of the TotalFinder contest. The emails with the TotalFinder licenses will arrive in the winners’ inboxes in the coming minutes. I’d like to thank BinaryAge for providing us with the copies of TotalFinder – much appreciated!
We actually received a lot more entries than I anticipated, making it much harder to pick the winners than I initially thought.
The winner was pretty clear, not only because I personally liked it the most, but also because you, the readers, clearly liked it the most. Stratoukos, congratulations on winning the gold medal – I don’t have actual medals to hand out so you’ll have to settle for a Google image result, but alas.
Twas the night before Christmas, and the posters where out
The fanboys, the haters and the trolls, beyond doubt
But something had changed, that previous day
For the princess of Glitter, had been taken away
Fiona Apple had been taken, by the evil Vizier
For see wasn’t real open, merely free as in beer
So the people of glitter, turned together to pray
For the gods of the legends, to descent if they may
And indeed they descended, with some glorious effects
And the leader amongst them, was the king OS X
He was angry but fair, the spectators would claim
As he looked at his soldiers, that he called by name
“Now Explorer! now Dolphin! now Dired and now Finder!
On Nautilus! on Konqueror! on Norton Commander!”
“We shall have our revenge”, mightily he decreed
From atop of his Unicorn, that he used as his steed
Though they tried as they might, the Vizier wouldn’t fall
For he was mighty handsome, also skinny and tall
And when everything seemed, to be pointless and lost
Then the hero of Glitter came to fight at his post
“TotalFinder” the townsfolk shouted, with a sigh of relief
“The Vizier’s evil reign, surely now will be brief”
And mistaken they weren’t, as the hero will prevail
And the people of Glitter will have a glorious Christmas Day
PS. Finder? I hardly know her! (someone had to do it)
For pretty much the same reasons, second place – and the silver medal – goes to darkOSN.
Upon Samba shares it came, when ubernerd known for it’s fame, Apple Fiona was her name, had Finder problems she tried to solve … much in vein. A cloud of glitter she then farted, which turned in a unicorn that started, to work on a fix, using TotalFinder on Mac OSX!
And pandronic takes home the bronze medal:
Once upon a time when unicorns roamed the Earth, there was this little gay unicorn, named Unicorny, who was a big fan of Fiona Apple. One day he heard from one of his unicorn friends that she was going to have a concert nearby. Oh, how happy was the little unicorn. Now all he had to do was leave early from work, put on his glittery “I love Fiona Apple” tshirt and catch the 5 o’clock rainbow to the concert hall.
But, the horror … Unicorny had a lot of work to do before leaving. His boss asked him to clean-up his computer, and unfortunately for our little unicorn he was a pig when it came to file-management. But the worst of all – he used Mac OS X.
Unicorny searched high and low for a proper way to do this job … he tried MuCommander, but it crashed too often, he tried PathFinder, but it was too complicated for his little unicorn brain and he even tried to use the terminal, but his hooves were too big for the aluminium keyboard.
“If only Finder were not so retarded”, thought Unicorny to himself. As a tear raced from his left eye the room became filled with light and on his desk the Software Fairy appeared.
“I should lay of the pot”, said Unicorny and tried to stomp the little creature. “Wait! Stop!” cried the fairy. “I’m the Software Fairy, you little dipshit! Stop trying to kill me and I’ll grant you one wish”.
Unicorny looked at the little fairy and said with a timid hopeful voice “I want proper file-management on OS X, with all the latest innovations like Cut and Folders first!”.
“What you asked is no small feat”, said the fairy, “but I have to write an article for OSNews.com latter tonight and I don’t have time to hear you whine. Here, have a copy of Total Finder and you’ll be done in no time”.
“Thank you Mister Fairy” said Unicorny. “You can call me Thom” replied the Fairy and vanished in a cloud of glitter.
Said and done. Unicorny did all his work in time and saw Fiona Apple’s concert. That night a little gay unicorn cried tears of joy thanks to Total Finder. The End.
Well, that was that. I just made 40 people write absurd public stories about Fiona Apple, glitter, and unicorns. Best OSNews day EVER.