Tomorrow, Microsoft will release all 6 versions of Windows Vista; some of us will rush out to buy themselves a copy, some of us will, like, not do that. OSNews will be bombarded with Vista related articles until old CRT monitors will have faint imprints of the word ‘Vista’ scattered across their tubes. So, to start the whole barrage of Vista articles off, here is a promotional video of Windows 386, released in the late 80s. This video is nothing short of brilliant. I suggest you make yourself a nice, warm tea (or coffee, if it’s morning) and sit back to enjoy the wonders of multitasking, the ‘just like OS/2’ interface, the 80s music, and, lest I forget, the fashion in spectacles. Update: I am currently watching the 1982 classic The Thing, and there’s a character in there named ‘Windows’. Coincidence? I think not!
and not warcraft, that video was.. hilarious.. kinda funny to see how.. things change, and some styles replay themselves.. (like the ‘stunnah’ shades. haha.)
~sn0n
http://myvistaexperience.com
I am sooo glad I didn’t live in the eighties.
…im so glad i cant remember the 80’s…
top quality rapping tho
You’re 17?
since september.
so I guess I did live in the eighties for like three/four months.
most people who are more computer literate than me are younger. they code for KDE and fluxbox. rofl, a sign of the times.
I had the supreme joy of being born in 1980. So the entire history of the 80’s is the story of my childhood, it makes for a rather interesting outlook. But, you have no idea what you missed.
I have no interest in buying Vista this soon. It will probably be at least three months or more before I consider it. I will be watching the reviews though and the boards to see how many people have problems with it.
There are too many possible compatibility issues at this point. I know that most of the older games I play probably won’t run or work.
By the way, thanks for posting this promo video link Thom. A great laugh indeed.
Edited 2007-01-28 22:20
//It will probably be at least three months or more before I consider it.
…
There are too many possible compatibility issues at this point. I know that most of the older games I play probably won’t run or work. //
How old is your hardware? Are you sure that Vista has drivers for all of your hardware items? Vista needs at least 1GB RAM, and would be happier with 2GB.
Upgrade to Vista is probably not a good idea (in fact, it is probably going to be a disaster) unless your hardware is very capable and less than a year old.
How old is your hardware? Are you sure that Vista has drivers for all of your hardware items? Vista needs at least 1GB RAM, and would be happier with 2GB.
Upgrade to Vista is probably not a good idea (in fact, it is probably going to be a disaster) unless your hardware is very capable and less than a year old.
My hardware is very new. My games are very old
Core 2 Duo E6600, 2GB Ram, GeForce 7900 GS, etc.
However, I play games that are as much as 10 years old, as well as ones that are only a few months old. Almost all of them work fine on XP. I have no reason to upgrade to Vista. I know that many of them are likely to not work.
Even for the eighties, that’s pretty bad.
“Even for the eighties, that’s pretty bad.”
Are you refering to what Amiga, Sun and SGI had to offer in the 80s?
BTW, with some other colors the video might be a goood promotion video for MICROS~1 “Vista”, such as http://toastytech.com/guis/miscw101xp.png or http://toastytech.com/guis/miscw31xp.png might have been for “Windows XP”. 🙂
That’s not the way I remember the 80’es O_o
What’s up with the clothes and the glasses and the music and the whole thing? Damn, ubergeeks
The video most of all reminds me of some really sleazy porn scene (not that I would know, of course :p )
EDIT: Changed a . into a ? in second paragraph
Edited 2007-01-28 22:23
I will not buy it. I got a mac, and it’s doing a lot more vista will ever do. Offtopic
So, Microsoft has the beat in its blood 🙂
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zEQhhaJsU4
Had I watched this movie during the 80s, I would have chosen any OS but windows… thats not only a bad promo video, it is a bad video! bad filmmaking all over, even for the 80s… It focuses more on showing the blonde with spectacles than actually talking about the new thing, all I know from the video is that it looks like the competition and has some funny stuff called multitasking which no one cares to explain the benefits. Heck the girl was looking nice till she morphed into freak-singer-from-the-80s….
ARGH!!!!!!!!
anyone here with a good promo video from the 80s…
It focuses more on showing the blonde with spectacles than actually talking about the new thing
Considering how terrible Windows 386 was, that was probably a good move.
Even by the standards of the day it’s a pretty embarrassing video. I can forgive the fashion disaster, but I’m pretty sure ripping off Mission Impossible was already a dated cliche by the 80s. When she starts rapping it’s just hilarious, I bet that role doesn’t have pride of place on the actress’ CV.
It was also funny seeing them portray things like multitasking and copy and paste as radical new features. Users of other systems had that functionality years earlier, running on less powerful hardware than a very expensive 386.
I’m pretty sure ripping off Mission Impossible was already a dated cliche by the 80s.
I thought it was Charlie’s Angels …
“””
I thought it was Charlie’s Angels …
“””
Different theme songs.
Mission impossible went:
Da! Da! De, da! Da! Da! Dah, Da!
And Charlies Angels went:
Dahhh de dahhhh! Dah, de dah, dah de dahhhh!
Dah dah de dee dah dah dee dahhhh, dah de dah dahhhhh!
Well. You get the idea. They were different. 😉
Edited 2007-01-29 01:30
I’m pretty sure ripping off Mission Impossible was already a dated cliche by the 80s.
Oh noes, the smoke is escaping from from her cassette player! Good ‘ol 80s smoke-powered technology – great stuff until the smoke escaped, but then you had a real chore on your hands to get it back in.
NeXTSTEP, though the only one I could find is this 35 minute demo here:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8495483285864450495&q=next…
I notice they’re promoting 1-2-3 and not Excel – cause it wasn’t on Windows yet
Otherwise, thats the scariest thing I’ve seen for quite a while.
If I hadn’t already known what it was about, I would have expected a softcore sex scene at any moment.
“””
If I hadn’t already known what it was about, I would have expected a softcore sex scene at any moment.
“””
I not sure that Linda getting it on with her Windows 386 PC would be considered “soft core” by either 1980’s or 2000’s standards. 😉
No, no – that’s the kind of video that you expect to composed entirely of still images with dialogue looped over the top. Like those horrible educational “videos”/slideshows from the 80s about drugs, self-esteem, date rape, etc.
Damn the 80ies were the dark years. Bad music, Disco left-overs, etc…
PS: Someone should tell GNU/Stallman the 60ies are over.
Edited 2007-01-28 22:46
Damn Thom. That’s probably the most disgusting and disturbing alien-horror movie I’ve ever seen. Seeing it as a child was definitely a mistake, and I cannot think of any reason to see it again. It’s good yes, but I don’t have the nerves to watch it.
It’s a classic. It’s stood the test of time amazingly well, I think.
One of John Carpenter’s great films.
The game wasn’t half-bad either (played it on Xbox).
However I agree that the Windows 386 promo video was much scarier.
Edited 2007-01-29 00:00
I have it on DVD and watch it sometimes when I’m bored. I guarantee that by todays standards it’s not as bad as you remember. I watched it as a child as well, and had nightmares for about forever. But when I watch it as an adult it’s almost laughable. Same thing with some Dr. Who episodes, the exorcist, et al.
I remember my nightmares too well to ever see that movie again…
“””
That’s probably the most disgusting and disturbing alien-horror movie I’ve ever seen.
“””
I just turned on Flashplayer to watch the Windows 386 promo. (Which was quite funny, BTW.)
And MY GOD! “The Thing”, “Aliens”, “The Exorcist”, and the “Windows 386 Promo” combined have *nothing* on the OSNews main page with Flashplayer turned on!
Good thing I had some left over anti-vertigo medication! 😉
Best OSnews comment EVER!
The Thing is brilliant, it still holds very nicely today. And between it and Aliens, you pretty much have the template for all the knock-off creature-features made in the last 25 years (crap like Deep Rising, Pitch Black, Virus, etc). Of course, it’s about the only sci-fi/horror film that I’ve never seen Joss Whedon rip-off, so maybe it was too disturbing for him too
Uh, yeah. Stupid.
I’m using Windows, Windows, Windows 386,
so all my applications are running at once.
My report right now is scattered all over my disk,
whoa whoa Windows, you’ll put these parts together real quick
I’ve got pieces in one spreadsheet, I’ve got pieces in another,
I’ve got pieces that have never been close to one another.
Some are in the database, where things are pretty stuffy.
some are in the word processor, that’s where it gets sloppy.
whoa whoa windows whoa whoa windows Windows 386!
we’ll pull these parts together and do it microquick.
I’ll cut and paste cut and paste until it’s in Pagemaker
then I’ll slick it up to be T-Bone’s heartbreaker!
not fun to be a PC user at the time…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EY27PC9FWT0 (1987)
Edited 2007-01-28 23:27
not fun to be a PC user at the time…
When I look at that Amiga 500 promo video now, I realize how ahead of its time it really was. Tears in my eyes, man.
the amiga is my inspiration even though I never got one…always wanted one though
You could almost use that as a promo vid for Windows Vista. Not much difference between them LOL.
Music in the 80’s wasn’t all that bad, you just had to scratch the surface (look at alternatives). Most pop music was crap though but not much has changed there either.
I’m not the one to praise today’s business practices … but um … i’m glad THAT’s over.
– Kevin
Oh god, there is a song…
“I’ve got pieces…”
http://youtube.com/watch?v=tGvHNNOLnCk
286-DOS
Balmer misspelled P.O.S.
all i can say is wow… i’m glad i was born in 81 and don’t remember those days. funny, but wow…… that’s all i can say.
I was practically embarassed to even watch that. I nearly just gave up when she started rapping but I had to stick it out.
It’s quite funny listening to them talk about it and also watching the way things used to be done. Like running the OS on a 5 1/4′.
I’m glad the 80s are over.
She raps better then 2Pac. LOL!
I may need to try again; I need to overcome my inability to watch stupidly corny/embarrassing things. No, I’m actually being serious. When someone’s being set up in an undignified and embarrassing way I cringe and try to avoid it.
I couldn’t make it past the rapping part before shutting it off…
That makes Balmer’s car salesman video seem sane.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=491434607197997836
(This is of course another Windows classic, worthy of being added to the top post, in my humble opinion)
I dunno, it seems like Apple went for drama, Microsoft went for obvious satire and comedy.
By the way, Google picked out a rather interesting article for me as well. It’s good to see Microsoft pushing responsible social legislation.
http://management.silicon.com/itdirector/0,39024673,39130378,00.htm
Nothing beats THIS video
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1274983729713522403
also don’t forget the Jennifer Aniston Windows video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GWQgb015Lc
Shoot. Didn’t know they were comics? LOL!
” Microsoft sent this tape to retailers to explain the benefits of Windows 386. Boring until the 7 minute mark when the production is taken over by crack-smoking monkeys.”
Apple has its lame ducks to, although they were more direct and nowhere near as lame:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZztzSUuwxE
won’t let you get away so fast…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R706isyDrqI
Both together now!
Microsoft redesigns the Ipod (courtesy Microsoft itself)
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4313772690011721857
I used to like the 1984 ad. It is a neat commercial that grabs your attention, and it is probably good advertising in that respect. These days, it just strikes me as more of Apple’s bad attitude.
Contrast that to Apple’s Think Different advertisements.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jULUGHJCCj4
This is not Apple’s bad attitude. Rather, it is something positive. To me it says: “It is okay to be different, and here are some good role models. And that is what we are about.” For the company that helped to popularize the personal computer (think Apple II) and a company that brought the GUI to the market (the Macintosh, of course), I think that is an appropriate message.
Can’t forget this gem:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ctjNrCThQNc
There should be a follow up video called “Upgrade any component shootout.” Oh shit, that’s where the boy and the dog sit there looking like morons who spent a ton of cash on a black box they can’t touch.
speaking of morons hehe hears another classic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2-UuIEOcss
update: look carefully http://www.bnb-movie.com/news/article/3/les-acteurs
Edited 2007-01-29 04:58
“update: look carefully http://www.bnb-movie.com/news/article/3/les-acteurs “
Ermmm..you didn’t actually believe those were real people and not paid actors in the switcher commercials…did you??
What? I think the ‘regular’ people in the geico commercials are also actors.
Now that’s no joke. I recently had the lovely experience of replacing the dead hard drive in an old eMac.
The whole time through watching the “simplicity shootout” video, all that was running through my mind was:
“After disconnecting the power button, removing half a dozen hex screws, and reading 5 pages of an Apple Service Manual, Johann has finally managed to remove the case of his iMac. Now he just has to actually *find* the drive. Meanwhile, Adam has finished installing and formatting his new hard drive half an hour ago.”
How true!
Oh my! I remember the pain all to clearly…
oh yeah??? how about this mac video????
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2282754844569110939
I like this one:
http://www.ubergeek.tv/article.php?pid=54
heh more like a super dork!
Did this OS have a Recicle Bin?
This film is worth it!!!
Well, as bad as that video was (and it was really bad), it never effected Microsoft’s dominance of the computer market.
Bad video and all (incl. MS Bob), they still rule the world!
I think that’s the dialogue of a jerkcity comic strip.
“I hereby smoke this dope and eat these doritos to protest the United States being king of the world.”
Poor communist baby!
If you’d put down your bong for a while, you might clear your brain long enough to have a coherent thought.
*Sigh* I could make a sarcastic comment about people with broken irony detection units. But someone sat on my internet pump and now I have to go get a bucket before data spills all over the floor. Cheerio.
Edited 2007-02-01 02:58
No one else notice (aroud the 5 minute mark) how she’s using the mouse with her left hand and clicking the left button with her index finger? That would be a lawsuit waiting to happen nowadays…
………Microsoft don´t know how to make operating systems and don´t know how to make promotional videos.
Unfortunately it knows very well how to make a monopoly
/* Tomorrow, Microsoft will release all 6 versions of Windows Vista; some of us will rush out to buy themselves a copy, some of us will, like, not do that. */
I’m in the crowd of people that will not be buying vista.I simply don’t agree with certain featues that were added,like, DRM. I would rather donate the $400 that ms is asking for the ultimate vista to a OSS project instead.
I guess the whole Candace Bergen look was in.
It would be nice to pick the Ballmers Monkeydance and put the “rap” song of this video as background, it would become perfect!
This film reminds me of a slutte secretaery 😉
I mean….
Microsoft has this REALLY DARK side… (world domination i might add)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XObuskjLlZE
I believe The Thing (fantastically scary movie by the way) also contains a shot of Kurt Russel pouring his scotch into a floppy disk drive. Some subtle commentary on the joys of computer use.
Okay, the music in that thing with the dog barks and everything was the most hilarious, crappily-put-together production I’ve ever heard! Amazing!!!!!!!